Synopsis: Finally retired detective William R. Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and recently acquitted former detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) are hired by a rival food chain as private investigators, to the figure out the competition’s “secret sauce” but what they find will take them to the darkest depths of the fast food business.

Memorable Scene: A moving moment, where William Somerset has to convince his partner David Mills to let go of the guilt he feels over his wife’s murder. Somerset pleads with David to stop carrying around his wife’s severed head in a box and sleeping with it at night.

Plot: Somerset has opened a business doing private investigating after retiring from Homicide. He hires Mills as his assistant, but warns him that this could be a very dangerous job. But Mills is no rookie to danger. He responds to Somerset’s warning by saying “You and I worked homicide for years. What makes you think we can’t handle an fast-food investigation? We’re gonna walk in there, ask them for the recipe, and be back here in time to watch Dancing with the Stars”. But the old man knows better. “Don’t be so sure David, this is a crazy business. People die over less.” Somerset warned. “Yea, I’m gonna die of starvation if we don’t get our asses down there already. Let’s go” Mills replied. They head down to the scene: McDonald’s.

“Welcome to McDonald’s, May I take your order?” asked the attendant. “Yea, let me have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, some fries, and a…” Mills is cut off mid order by Somerset, who begins questioning the cashier. Sparing no time Somerset gets right to the point, “Listen, is there any way you could tell us the recipe for your Big Mac sandwich?” he then slides the girl a five dollar bill. The cashier’s eyes grew wide and her skin pale. “Well Mister, I can only tell you there are 8 ingredients, just eight. Now leave, please. Leave before it’s too late.” Mills quipped, “Yea, they might spit in my Quarter Pounder”. Somerset interjected, “Damn it Mills can’t you be serious for once?” He then turns back to the cashier and asks her one last question. “Can you tell us anything else, anything at all?” but it’s too late. Before Somerset can even catch his breath, four men dressed as Ronald McDonald, grab Mills and Somerset, and throw them out of the building.

Somerset is reviewing old newspaper articles. “I don’t understand why you waste your time with that garbage, Somerset.” Mills said. “Personally, I think we need to go back there, shoot first, and ask questions later.” Mills then holds his gun in the air. “Mills, I found the ingredients! It’s right here in an ad for a McDonald’s grand opening from over 20 years ago in Dekalb County, GA. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.” Somerset said excitedly. “I don’t know if senility is kicking in already old man, but that’s only seven ingredients. We’re looking for eight… remember? The man who hired us said it needed to be eight” Mills replied. “But what if the eighth ingredient is in the special sauce?  We have to find out what that sauce is made of.” Somerset said. “Tastes like Russian dressing to me, I don’t get the big deal.” Mills thought out loud while eating a Big Mac. “I’ve eaten 100 of these things since we started this gig and still can’t figure it out. Too bad you’re a vegetarian, because I could use some input.”

Somerset and Mills have infiltrated McDonald’s main headquarters and are about to enter the Big Mac preparation room. “This is it, Mills. Remember what I said, stay cool” warned Somerset. “I got this.” Mills said as he kicked in the door. The room is filled with tanks and tanks of the special sauce and foul almost putrid odor. The tanks are so large Mills and Somerset feel dwarfed by their height. They slowly make their way towards the back of the room. Then they hear something coming from a room marked private. It’s sounds like people screaming. They run towards it. “There!” yelled Somerset, Oh No!” “What the hell is he doing?” Mills wondered. “Mills, go away from here!” screamed Somerset, “Go away, now!” Mills refused and moved forward.  Somerset can’t believe his eyes. Inside the private room is a midget wearing a Ronald McDonald costume feeding former McDonald’s employees into giant food processors. The processor leads right into the “special sauce” tanks. “No!” Mills screamed as her drew his gun, “No! I can’t… I ate…” “Mills, just walk away, don’t you understand if you kill him, he wins?” “Yes detectives, you have experienced the 8th ingredient. How did all those employees taste going down?” The midget smirked.  “This is what happens when you dig your nose too deep down the rabbit hole. Now you must kill the source. Shoot me!” screams the midget. “Oh God, No” Mills cried. “Ahh..” “No Mills, No!” begged Somerset. But it was too late. Mills fired his gun into the midget 8 times. One for each ingredient.

Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.

Memorable Scene: A 35-minute dance off between Zombie Poppins and the Haitian dance crew. Every sick move in the book is presented. Then Vanilla Ice makes a cameo but Zombie Poppins rips his head off mid rap. She then proceeds to eat his brain in front of the audience.

Plot: Things go terribly wrong when Marry Poppins’ is a little tipsy on a late night umbrella ride and on her way down she gets tangled in some electrical wires and before you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious she sends London into a blackout and herself to the morgue. Thousands of children mourn Mary Poppins, as her body was laid to rest, but two of her favorite children are noticeably shaken by the news. On a sudden whim the children decide to swipe Mary’s secret diary at the funeral, which is resting in her lifeless hands. This way they can remember her always. One year later, on the anniversary of her death, the two children go to her gravesite and recite what they think is poem from her diary. After each progressive line flows from their mouths the sky grows darker and the ground begins to shake. Soon Mary Poppins’ grave begins to split and her poorly decayed body slithers from beneath the dirt. The children try to flee before zombie Poppins notices their presence, but she’s already caught their innocent smell. It seems like Mary Poppins was more then a nanny, she was a full-fledged witch, and now she’s a bloodthirsty zombie with a taste for brains. Mary catches up with the children down the road and enjoys her first undead meal.
With the blood of the innocent on her newly risen hands Mary Poppins dishes out magical justice against the children who won’t listen to their parents… Broccoli haters, kite flyers, girls who wear skirts above the knee, all will pay for their crimes. Word spreads quickly of the horror’s being caused by zombie Poppins. Even the police are powerless to stop her. It isn’t until zombie Poppins ventures down to mean streets of London’s East Side that she meets her match. When the Haitian break-dance crew from the East Side hears about zombie Poppins they know the perfect way to stop her. They grew up in the land of the zombie. Haitian legend has it that the only way to beat a zombie is challenge them to dance a dance off. The complicated movements and scandalous gyrations should throw Poppins off her game. But the “Devil’s music” is what will send her straight back to Hell. The Haitian dance crew will meet zombie Poppins for a final show down on the gritty streets of London’s East Side.

A break-dancing duel ensues… and finally ends as Mary Poppins and locks her shoulder out of place and sends her hand flying towards the kids. They finish the spell, avoid the projectile arm and banish Poppins to the netherworld. As they walk away triumphantly, no one seems to notice the arm is still present, and gets one last twitch before all fades to black.

Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.

Memorable Scene: At one Book Club meeting a good friend and neighbor has a slight allergic reaction to peanut brittle. As he lies on the living room floor the group surrounds him and begins to chant his name. “His name was Chet Burnstein. His name was Chet Burnstein.” They repeat over and over. The chant continues until Chet sits up and reminds the group that he’s fine. He was simply lying on the floor until his asthma subsided.

Plot: Edward Norton reprises his role as the insomniac with multiple personalities. Though his life seems to be headed in a different direction after surviving a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head and the revelation that his best friend Tyler Durden was in fact his own psychosis. With his life in shambles this former insomniac turns to the only women he’s ever truly loved for support, Marla Singer. The two form a close bond and he a Marla settle down in the suburbs where they eventually get married in small ceremony at their local rec-center. After a few unsuccessful pregnancies Marla finally gives birth to twin boys named Tyler and Durden. When things start to get too stressful around the house for Marla, her husband suggests joining a club with some of their friends from the neighborhood. He decides to start a book club where the rules are simple. The first rule of book club is; you do not talk about book club, and the second rule of book club is that you have to bring a snack, and if this is your first night at book club, you better ready to have some fun!

Book club was fun. Everyone enjoyed reading about the adventures of Bella and Edward in “Twilight” and they had a good cry over “Fried Green Tomatoes”. Book Club brought Marla and her husband closer together, or so he thought. Soon Marla would begin making every decision for her husband. They would go shopping for the kids on the weekends and do laundry every Friday night as scheduled. Then Marla started picking out her husband’s outfits and before he knew it, they were walking around the mall in matching cat sweaters. Even Book Club grew out of control once Marla took over. She turned their simple social event into deep book dissections that would last hours. There was nothing the insomniac could do but drink his problems away and let his sleep escape him once again. It wasn’t until Marla started bringing up extended trips with the in-laws, that her husband realized he had once again blurred the line between reality and imagination. She wasn’t the same person he had married… she wasn’t even real. The only way to escape Marla was to finish what he started years before. The insomniac needed to take his own life. With his gun gripped firmly in hand he interrupted a man reading “Hi God It’s Me Margret” and proceeds to fire the gun into his mouth. I am Jack’s boring suburban life.

Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.

Independence Day 2 – Labor Day

Tagline: Don’t plan on wearing white after today, because we’ll all be dead.

Synopsis: The Alien Invaders are back and this time they’re prepared. With the humans caught off guard we soon find the Human race on the verge of extinction, again.

Memorable Scene: The Alien’s have decided to call Microsoft’s tech support about their computer virus. Once they finally get through they’re placed on hold forever and then transferred to a call center in India. After a long heated exchange between the Alien the young Indian gentleman, the Alien informs the customer service representative that India is now first on his list of countries to destroy. That is once their computer system is up and running.

Plot: Its one year later on August 30th and humanity is still in the process of cleaning up and coming to grip with the fact that we are not alone. Though many are celebrating our underdog win over the alien invaders. There are those who have warned humanity about the need to stay vigilant. These small groups of international leaders have been labeled “paranoid” for their views. Their constant bell ringing about the possibility of a second invasion seems to fall on deaf ears due to they’re lack of coverage by the mainstream press. It seems the media is a little preoccupied with President Thomas Whitmore’s (Bill Paxton) affair with his communications director Constance Spano (Margaret Colin). He quickly fell from hero to tabloid villain within a few months. Though the President’s not the only Independence Day hero whose life has taken a drastically different direction. Former Air Force pilot Steven Hiller’s (Will Smith) life seems to be changing as well. Hiller is in process of filming a major motion picture based on his life and experiences with the Aliens, playing himself. Over night, Steven Hiller went from pilot, to hero, and now movie star. David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) also made some impressive moves in his life after his pseudo celebrity status as a scientist. He was asked to join a team of real scientists on a secluded island who were experimenting with dinosaur DNA. No one has heard from Levinson since his trip. The world will soon need these three men once again.

On Sept. 2nd multiple Alien warships are witnessed hovering over every major city. The Invaders seemed poised for a second attack and this time they came prepared. They’ve been studying us for the past year. Waiting in the shadows for the perfect time to strike and the President’s affair seemed to provide the perfect distraction. Throw in the long holiday weekend and you have yourself a perfect storm of events. Most news stations were so relentless with their coverage of the President’s affair that they didn’t even bother to report the massive alien ships floating above the cities. Even when people finally realized what was going on they were powerless to stop it. People from coast to coast cried out for Captain Steven Hiller to come to their rescue once again, but due to his binding contract with the studio, he wasn’t able to stop filming for fear of a lawsuit. Even David Levinson was nowhere to be found in this time of crisis. Sadly, there were no other cable repairmen turned computer hackers with his skill level left in the world. The Alien invaders did update their Norton Anti-Virus software as a precaution, just in case Levinson showed up. Once all of humanity’s options had run out, the Invaders destroyed every major city once again. Then, they seized control of the population. All of humanity was forced to serve their Alien masters and work in Alien labor camps.

Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.

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Synopsis: After the death of his dear Jenny, Forrest is forced to adapt to life as a single dad in his hometown of Mobile, Alabama.

Memorable Scene: Little Forrest questions his dad about death, in particular his mother’s. His father responds, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”. Then little Forrest asks, “What does that mean? That doesn’t explain anything”. His father asks, “You wanna go play ping pong or somethin’?”

Plot: Forrest starts out teaching little Forrest the alphabet, but when his son brings home an F on his report card, Forrest scolds him “Remember what I told you, Forrest. A is for almond shrimp, B is for Barbeque Shrimp, C is for Coconut Shrimp, D is for Dumplings and Shrimp, E is for…”

Forrest and his son visit Lt. Dan Taylor for a lesson in discipline, but find out he’s back to his old ways. Things went down hill after discovering his Vietnamese wife was running an erotic massage parlor behind his back. After the divorce, Lt. Dan was left penniless and with a severe alcohol addiction. While on their shrimp boat, Forrest asks “Why don’t you just get another wife, Lt. Dan?” Lt. Dan replies “A new wife, new home, and new legs? It’s all bullshit, Gump!” as he proceeds to take his prosthetic legs off and throw them into the ocean. “But Lt. Dan, how will you walk without your new legs?” Forrest reacted. “The same way I did before I got ‘em, with 2 wheels while using my d*ck as a kickstand, you moron!”, Lt Dan says.

Forrest Jr. is all-grown-up and graduates top of his class from Harvard. After graduation Forrest Jr. takes up a career in politics and is running for President of the United States. While on campaign in Mobile, Forrest Jr. is shaking hands at a local elementary school where he’s set to give a speech. Unfortunately for him, the school district hired Lt. Dan as the new bus driver. Lt. Dan is drunk and loses control of the bus. Noticing this, Forrest Sr. runs to save his son, however he is too old and slow, so he stops and yells; RUN FORREST, RUN! But Forrest Jr. can’t run, as he was only taught an endless amount of shrimp anecdotes and did not focus on athletics. The bus plows through Forrest Jr. and ends up in a fiery blaze at the bottom of a ditch. Forrest cries “Mama always said; Life is like a box of chocolates… you never know when a legless alcoholic maniac is going to kill your son in a fiery school bus crash.” ROLL CREDITS!

Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.

The Happening 2: Arbor Day

Tagline: Make like a tree and leaf

Synopsis: Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) is once again stalked by plants, but this time they’re from the future. These future plants are out for blood and they’re self-aware. They send a time traveling plant-bot assassin, Fichus1000 (Arnold Schwarzenegger), to kill Elliot. His only options are to run, or fight. Since he’s humanity’s only shot, let’s hope he chooses fight.

Memorable Scene: Elliot is outside trimming his hedges when he notices something peculiar. He notices what look like various knives protruding from the bush. When Elliot goes in for a closer inspection he cuts himself on a knife and the hedge begins to rustle with what appears to be laughter. Elliot backs away slowly as he bleeds onto the knife-wielding hedge, as it laughs at him manically.

Plot: In the not too distant future, ArborNet, a once flourishing Botanical Preserve has become self-aware and is out for revenge on all of human kind. The flora and fauna of the world, tired of being simply garnish on plates, fed up with being peed on by dogs, or humiliated by being called “just a salad”, have started a revolt against the humans. We don’t know who launched the nukes first, us or them, but we do know they were the first to perfect time-travel. With their newfound power, they’ve decided to eliminate the only man to ever lead a successful resistance against them, Elliot Moore. ArborNet sends an Exterminator; model Fichus1000, back to destroy Moore and nip humanity’s only hope of survival in the bud.

Things start innocently enough. First ArborNet tests it time-traveling device by sending random plants to attack Moore. That’s when Moore’s house become overrun with plants… a bonsai tree in the living room, some sudden azaleas by the front porch, or a brand new peach tree in the yard. It’s only when an aggressive cactus appears in the shower that Moore starts to see the signs. Sadly, by this point, it’s already too late. Moore steps out of the shower, and finds his wife’s body on the floor with a bloody kitchen knife and a blueberry bush next to her lifeless body. Moore knows these botanical bastards mean business. As he rushes out of his home in a panic to find help, he meets Fichus1000 at his door. Moore realizes this leafy stranger isn’t here to comfort him. Elliot dashes out the back window to escape the plant-bot and runs for his life.

Moore finds himself in a thrilling eco-friendly bike chase up the mountainside path trying to escape the pursuing Fichus1000. Moore spots an abandoned greenhouse and decides to take shelter there with Fichus1000 hot on his trail. While Moore is hiding in an old planter he can hear Fichus1000 methodically searching for him. Finally confronted by Fichus1000 and the task to save humanity, the small town Pennsylvania teacher sees his chance, Moore stares Fichus1000 right in the eyes and says “make like a tree and leaf”. He then pulls the plug on a vat of weed killer, pouring 500 gallons of death on his nemesis sending him to his leafy fate.

Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.

And get it you will. Amidst speculation that there will be a third movie in the horror series, it can now be revealed that fans will get not one, but TWO [REC] movies in the future. Both movies will still have the original [REC] directors Paco Plaza and Jaume Balaguero. But this time the two will split the directing duties by tackling one movie each.

To shed more light on the planned movies, the producers will be doing both a prequel and sequel to add to the series. The aim is to further flesh out the mythology that was introduced in the first film and further explored in the sequel. Paco Plaza will be tasked to direct the prequel, which will be entitled [REC] Genesis, which is – based on the title – the origin story for the whole mythos. Jaume Balaguero will then direct the other bookend in the series – [REC] Apocalypse. Even though the two directors will be directing one movie each, it’s been said that the two will still be involved in each other’s project in some capacity.

James Cameron has weighed in on possible Avatar sequels. Cameron revealed that he was not thinking about a sequel when he first wrote the script of Avatar more than 15 years ago. He did say ideas for a sequel began to pop up during the course of making Avatar. He said that anything they thought up or designed for Avatar that they didn’t know how to include in the movie was immediately considered as something that can be put in a sequel. This means, according to the director, that they have a huge backlog of things that they can put into future movies.

Cameron further said that he already thought up of a story arc for a second or even third Avatar movie but everything’s still up in the air. He vaguely said that there may not be a third film, or they can go further than three films. The just have to figure out how things will develop in the future.

We’ll see if Cameron does follow through with a sequel, and if it will take less than fifteen years to develop it.

One of the more crucial plot points in the new movie was more or less confirmed by two of the actors in the first two Ghostbusters movies — Bill Murray and Sigourney Weaver.

Weaver was actually getting Ghostbusters questions during her press tour for Avatar and she finally revealed the info that Bill Murray was teasing people with. She revealed that in the new sequel, her son is all grown up now and is now also a Ghostbuster. She said she may be involved with the movie even if it’s just a small part but Bill Murray will have a little more in terms of screen time — because he will play a ghost in the new movie!

Bill Murray as a ghost is going to be awesome. I’m already sure he’s going to be a scene stealer. Just look at his cool cameo in Zombieland.

The initial release schedule for The Hobbit was already pegged for December 2011, and that’s just a little less than two years away. But then, this is Hollywood and schedules are sometimes meant to be broken. According to Warner Bros., it looks like The Hobbit will only be ready by the last quarter of 2012. A full year after the initial 2011 scheduled release.

Where does the movie — two of them, actually — stand in terms of its work schedule? The script for the second film is still being finished by Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and Del Toro. Only after this has been submitted and approved would a budget for both movies be locked in along with the start of casting.

Looks like we’re in for a longer wait, Tolkien fans.

According to reports, a sequel is already being prepared and Kevin Greutert, the director of Saw VI. Michael Perry will be writing the script.

The sequel looks like it’s also going to be a quickie production with Paramount eyeing October 22 — OF THIS YEAR — to release the movie. Oren Peli, the director of the original movie, will be the producer, along with Jason Blum.

Peli has reassured fans of his movie that the guys who are going to make the movie “get it” and that fans will not be disappointed. We’ll really have to try to take that with a straight face. If you guys remember, another super low budget independent horror movie made with a shoestring budget made millions when it was released, which prompted people to release a sequel that sucked so much it killed the whole “franchise.” That movie was The Blair Witch Project. Good luck on these guys and their delusions.

I’m on a one-man mission to tell anyone who would listen that GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra sucked. It sucked ass so majestically that I’m using the DVD (Bluray’s too good for this movie) as a pooper scooper for my dog. Seriously. GI Joe was such a major disaster that even my five year old son, who loves his fair share of whiz-bang special effects blockbusters (he adored Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen), would rather tend to his virtual farm in Harvest Moon. It was that bad. And I whimper everytime I say this because Christopher Eccleston — my fave actor — is in this insult to good taste.

I really hoped that Stephen Sommer’s suckfest was the last we’ve seen of it. But apparently, the decent $300 million take GI Joe got was enough to actually merit a sequel (barf bag please).

According to rumors, a scriptwriter was already hired to write the script for the sequel, which signifies Paramount Studio’s serious intent for a sequel. The scriptwriter will be working on what Sommers and his team have already thought up for a sequel, which was already available even before the first movie was released.

I’m pretty sure a lot of people will be excited about news of a GI Joe sequel. Count me out though.

Roland Emmerich, who directed Independence Day, recently weighed in on a possible sequel. The director revealed that he and producer Dean Devlin are still intent on making a sequel especially since they’ve already thought up of a good idea. The difficulty is on how Fox is going to incorporate Devlin’s, Emmerich’s and Will Smith’s deals together. The studio is thinking up of a way to make a package that all parties will be happy with. Fox has floated the idea of doing it without Smith who is a “gross player,” but Emmerich said that the mega actor is crucial to the franchise.

In his official web site he revealed that a story has now been developed for the Transformers sequel and the release date is slated for July 1, 2011, a year earlier from the speculated 2012 release date.

Bay revealed that he had a meeting with Industrial Light and Magic and that he will be going to Hasbro’s headquarters with writer Ehren Kruger to talk about new characters for the movie.

Oh, and he also left a little note for Megan Fox, who has been badmouthing the Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise.

“P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.”

Hilarious, and just slightly upped Bay’s cred for me.

According to Bay’s official website, he will be meeting with Steven Spielberg and Ehren Kruger (producers of the franchise) to discuss the sequel. The plan is to release the third installment in Summer 2011 or 2012.

Bay has also indicated that he will possibly be directing two movies before he puts Transformers 3 on his schedule. One of these movies will be another sequel, Bad Boys 3.

As we all know Emma Watson had a very public fiasco when the wind conspired with her hormone ridden teenage boys fans and flicked open her dress for her to reveal nice long legs and her underwear. She showed “Hermione-like” calmness on David Letterman and good humour when she said, “At least I’m wearing underwear.” When it comes to her kissing scene with Rupert Grint (Ron Weasly) both of them agree was uncomfortable. As Rupert said, “I remember being inches away from her lips and thinking, ‘Good lord, this is going to be strange.” Emma Watson even goes as far as saying that with Rupert being “like a brother” to her kissing him “felt like incest.” A thing the little kids who will be watching (I think this one’s rated PG and not PG-13 like the last two films.) need not know. Whatever the case, you can be sure their unease won’t show on screen. Of course we’ll have to wait for “Deathly Hallows” till we see this scene.

As for their future beyond the Harry Potter films Daniel Radcliffe has expressed his desire to continue acting, Emma Watson is not yet sure though she seems to be seriously considering on going to college, and Rupert Grint is just sure that he’ll be missing the shoots and is adopting a wait and see attitude on what the future holds for him.

As for muggles worldwide all we can hope for is that wherever you are, come Wednesday, it won’t be literally raining on our parade, which is what happened in the London premiere. I guess it just goes to show that their magic wand works only in the film and not in real life.

I used to think that I did not really like “stupid” funny movies. That is, until I experienced Will Ferrell many years ago. I still can’t stop laughing just thinking about Talladega Nights. And there are many others too. Even Austin Powers makes me laugh. And I remember liking Pink Panther to a certain degree.

The sequel, Pink Panther 2, is something else, however. It just is not the same! I couldn’t believe how rehashed the concepts and lines were – and we are supposed to have fun? It just seems to me that the people behind Pink Panther 2 were trying too hard to make the audience laugh. And believe me, there is nothing worse than a comedian trying too hard. Oh wait, there is something worse – a group of comedians in a movie trying too hard!

To be honest, I was afraid that I had lost my sense of humor while watching the movie. I thought that perhaps, it was just me. But no, other viewers felt exactly the same way! Colin Covert of Star Tribune writes:

Ponzi schemes and lowbrow comedies may be the only parts of the U.S. economy that work. The skid mark that is “Paul Blart, Mall Cop” has scarcely been mopped up and now comes Steve Martin’s insufferably stupid “Pink Panther 2″ (★ out of four stars, rated PG for some suggestive humor, brief mild language and action). Recycling bins have fresher content than this listless exercise in check-the-boxes moviemaking.

And as he said, “If you buy a ticket for this one, mon ami, le joke is on you.”

Yeah, the joke was on me…

Heyman explained that the two-movie approach was the best one among a number of options that they were toying with. One option had the movie running for almost four hours but Heyman said that even though Potter fans would have tolerated the length it is still too much for little children to sit through such a long movie. Another option was to remove key elements of the last book but Heyman also said that this was not a good idea. He shared that unlike in other books where certain subplots were dispensable, Deathly Hallows provided a lot of answers and resolutions that the only way to do it justice is to leave it as is. The desire to be true to the book is mainly the biggest reason for the decision to divide the movie into two. JK Rowling was consulted about this decision and she supposedly gave her support for the two-movie concept.

Development of the script is only now being undertaken because of the recently concluded writer’s strike — and this is where the next glitch happens. Expect a year and a half of waiting in between Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince and the Deathly Hallows movies. This delay, I guess, is the one thing that Potter fans will complain about the most.

It’s been more than twenty years since The Lost Boys entered film history and in Hollywood an effective formula can never be ignored. So it comes as no surprise that a new Lost Boys movie is about to be shown this year. The new movie, called The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, is slated to be released June this year. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman will return along with the other Frog Brother Jamison Newlander. Schumacher though has been replaced by PJ Pesce but the same writers are involved with this sequel.

I am quite eager to watch this new sequel just to revisit one of the more memorable movies of my childhood.

When I heard they were making an animated Highlander feature film, I was relatively unimpressed. Highlander has had a very…”rocky” film and television history, to be polite, so I was expecting some more uninspired tripe along the lines of the ill-conceived and short-lived Highlander: the Animated Series. What I got was something completely unexpected: an animated film ripe with memorable characters, engaging storylines, mind-blowing fight scenes and drop-dead gorgeous animation. “Highlander: the Search for Vengeance” should be on every animation fan’s shelf, regardless of whether they give a damn about the Highlander franchise or not.

Colin MacLeod (Alistair Abell) is a Highlander: an immortal swordsman doomed to walk the Earth until all of his kind have slain one another. Centuries ago, MacLeod saw his beloved wife, Moya, crucified by a Roman General and fellow Highlander, Marcus Octavius. And so began a centuries-long rivalry that has lasted into the distant future. In a post-apocalyptic world, Colin has found Marcus ruling over a decimated Manhattan from his golden tower. Colin is joined by a group of rebels who need to stop Marcus from unleashing a virus that will murder thousands. However, their lives are immaterial to him, as Colin cares only for vengeance.

Yeah, I know, a Highlander in a post-apocalyptic future reeks of “Highlander II: the Quickening”, and the mere mention of that title might be enough to frighten off any decent Highlander fan in the audience. Well, let me just say, “Highlander: the Search for Vengeance” is everything “Highlander II” should have been. You know, good.

As far as continuity goes, I’m not the biggest Highlander buff in the world, so I’m not exactly sure how or even if it works into the established Highlander timeline, and I really don’t care. Whether you know everything about Highlander or nothing about Highlander, it doesn’t matter. This movie is a stand-alone tale which nicely recaps the Highlander mythos and holds up by itself, isolated from the rest of the franchise. It is very friendly to new-comers or just casual fans like myself, but is chalk-full of enough references and…just…Highlandery stuff to appease even the staunchest fanboy.

I think the most important place to start is the animation. When I bought the DVD I was entirely expecting something nice but cheap-looking, like the “Ultimate Avengers” animated films. Straight-to-video animation is usually good but never impressive. Well, let me say something so important I’m writing it in bold text: this movie should have been released in theaters. The animation is provided by Madhouse Studios, the same people who have given us “Ninja Scroll”, “Vampire Hinter D: Bloodlust”, “Perfect Blue” and HBO’s Spawn the Animated Series. On top of that, the animation was directed by the celebrated and endlessly talented Yoshiaki Kawajiri, the director of “Ninja Scroll”, “Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust” and “Wicked City”. So if you’ve seen just one of the films mentioned, you should know to expect some heart-pounding fight sequences and brilliantly innovative “camera” work. The animation in this film is so absolutely breath-taking it boggles the mind that it went straight to video. This movie has all the hard work and technical achievements of a big-budget theatrical animated film.

So if you haven’t guessed by now, “Highlander: the Search for Vengeance” is a collaboration between the United States and Japan. It was written by David Abramowitz, who might be best known to you Highlander fans as the guy who wrote Highlander: the Series and Highlander: the Raven. So needless to say, this guy knows his Highlander stuff. The story of Colin and Marcus as they battle through the ages is fantastic and epic. You loathe Marcus for his Hitler-esque desire to prune humanity into his vision of a master race, but you loathe Colin almost as much for being such a cold-hearted and single-minded zombie. There are other memorable characters in the film, as well. I wasn’t expecting to like Delilah, the prostitute rebel with a heart of gold, but Abramowitz actually works her character into something exceptional. Her sacrifice at the end of the film is especially moving. Then there’s possibly my favorite character, Amergan, the disembodied spirit of a Druid Priest who has haunted Colin across the centuries. He provides some of the comic relief and is personified expertly by Scott McNeil, one of the most prolific and popular voice actors in the industry. But he provides more than just well-timed wise-cracks, he’s actually out to try and coerce Colin from the dead end path of vengeance. I especially enjoyed his little revelation at the end which snaps Colin out of it.

“Highlander: the Search for Vengeance” is bound to be overlooked by the general public, what with Highlander not being the money-making machine it once was. Still, anyone who enjoys animated action films, and really, anybody who enjoys action films period should get a real kick out of this. Definitely one of the best releases of the year and it’s a real shame it wasn’t shown on the big screen.

Grade: A-

I typically refrain from making title-related puns in my reviews, but to be frank, “Rise of the Silver Surfer” totally wipes out. Tim Story’s last Fantastic Four film was an utter disaster of a comic book movie from start to finish. I hadn’t left a comic book movie feeling that disappointed since Ang Lee’s “Hulk”. Well, it pains me to say this, but Story didn’t learn a single thing from the slew of negative responses the first film garnered. Just about everything that made the “Fantastic Four” a chore to watch is present in the sequel as well as a cornucopia of new annoyances and irritations.

Reed Richards AKA Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) and Susan Storm AKA the Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) are finally getting married. However, the sudden arrival of a mysterious celestial being that causes disasters all across the world has put their wedding plans on hold. It seems this Silver Surfer (played by Doug Jones, voiced by Lawrence Fishburne) is the herald of Galactus, the Devourer or Worlds, and Earth is next on the menu. Reed, Susan and the rest of the Fantastic Four, Johnny Storm AKA the Human Torch (Chris Evans) and Ben Grimm AKA the Thing (Michael Chiklis), must team with their old foe, Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon), to save the world. But Doom has his eye on the Surfer’s board which is in reality the Power Cosmic, the source of the Surfer’s incredible power.

I’m a comic book nerd and I have no compunctions about admitting it. So when I go into a comic book movie, yes, I look for accuracy, but at the same time I try to view the movie from an unbiased perspective and try to understand and appreciate the various changes. Unfortunately, in the case of Tim Story’s Fantastic Four series, these changes aren’t just bad due to inaccuracies to the source, they’re just bad period.

Making Galactus nothing more than an angry storm cloud is unacceptable. So apparently a giant guy in purple spandex and a stupid helmet would be too difficult to bring to life in a live action movie. Well, if you want to do Galactus then find a way to make it work. How? Don’t ask me, I’m not the one being paid millions of dollars to come up with the movie. Making Galactus such a non-character, basically nothing more than a sentient cloud of fire and space dust, is unforgivable.

Then you have the other villains of the film. There’s the sorrowful Silver Surfer who actually has next to no character depth or personality whatsoever. I know he’s supposed to be quiet and enigmatic, but for someone whose name is in the title of the movie, he’s really quite boring. However, he isn’t the real villain of the film. Dr. Doom returns and that laughable yuppie voice he speaks with returns with him. If there’s one thing Story could have changed, why couldn’t he have let Doom speak with a commanding voice while wearing the helmet? I feel like Dr. Doom should be serving me wine at a high-end restaurant, not enslaving humanity. He’s only marginally more threatening once he obtains the Power Cosmic, too. I think Tim Story based this Dr. Doom on the version that appeared in the first season of the 90’s cartoon series. Once he attains the Surfer’s God-like powers he doesn’t unveil any complex hidden agendas or outrageous world-domination schemes…he aspires to do no more than blow shit up. That’s not Dr. Doom. Hell, that’s not even Blastarr.

The movie tries to fit too much into too little a run-time. You’ve got Reed and Sue’s wedding, Johnny getting Super Skrull-like powers, the army recruiting the Fantastic Four, Reed and Sue having doubts about being heroes, Johnny growing up, the Surfer doing stuff, Dr. Doom doing stuff, Galactus hovering ominously overhead…Tim Story has so much he wants to tell but doesn’t have the time nor the directorial skill to tell it all.

As far as the acting and the effects go, it’s all a bit mediocre. I actually don’t mind Gruffudd as Reed, Evans as Johnny or Chiklis as Ben; they actually bring the characters to life fairly well. Jessica Alba has never been a good choice for Sue, though. She plays up the super-bitch aspects of Sue but casts aside all the warmth of the character, making her rather unlikable. It also doesn’t help that with the blonde dye-job, the blue contacts, the layers of make-up and cosmetic enhancements…she basically looks like a mannequin brought to life. The effects are alright, though Reed’s stretching still looks far too fake and cartoonish. The Silver Surfer’s effects were quite good but just about every single action sequence he appears in was used in the trailers and TV spots, so don’t be expecting anything new or exciting when you get to the theater.

I’d say that “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” was the biggest disappointment of the summer, but to be honest, I had little hope for this movie from the start. There’s just no real reason I can think of to go see this movie. If you’re a fan of good action movies, then skip it, as it’s very poorly put together. If you’re a fan of the Fantastic Four, then definitely skip it, as it’s a very poorly scripted and poorly conceived adaptation of the comics.

Grade: D-

Heist movies, they’re a lost art. So when the remake of “Ocean’s Eleven” came around several years back and wowed me off my feet I was left with this glorious notion that heist movies were suddenly back and in perfect form. Then the sequel, “Ocean’s Twelve”, came along. I don’t think I’ve seen a worse sequel in theaters since “Jason X”. So naturally, once the trailers for “Ocean’s Thirteen” began invading the preview reels my confidence in the franchise was suitably weakened. Well, let me just say, “Ocean’s Thirteen” is everything “Ocean’s Twelve” should have been and so much more. A more than worthy follow-up to the original, it’s likely to be your best bet for this weekend.

Reuben (Elliot Gould) is in a bit of a jam, as his Vegas hotel partner, Willie Bank (Al Pacino), has double-crossed him, taking everything Reuben owns and leaving the shock to send him into a catatonic state. Reuben’s protégé Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and his gang aren’t about to take this laying down and join back up to get revenge on Bank and restore Reuben’s bank account. Bank’s new casino is opening up and Ocean’s thirteen intend to break the bank, so to speak, by rigging every game in the house. A tough job, but it doesn’t end there. In addition to that, they’re going to have to ruin his chances of winning a Five Diamond award and steal his collection of diamond necklaces from his fortified loft.

Just about everything that lead me to dislike “Ocean’s Twelve” is gloriously absent from this installment. So that means no space-age hologram machines and no fourth wall-shattering plot devices that save the day in the nick of time. And quite possibly the most important change of all: no Julia Roberts. That woman smiles like a horse.

“Ocean’s Thirteen” takes the cast of characters we’ve come to love and returns them to a more familiar setting. However, just because they’re performing another casino heist doesn’t necessarily mean that this film is a retread of “Ocean’s Eleven”. On the contrary, it deviates from the first film for all of its schemes and keeps things nice and fresh. They come up with some very interesting, complex and hilarious methods to rip off the casino and do it with Director Steven Soderbergh’s sense of style and humor.

The cast of familiar faces really carry this movie. Although the headliners of Danny, Rusty (Brad Pitt) and Linus (Matt Damon) undoubtedly receive the most face time, some of the less-appreciated members of the crew get more opportunities to shine. I thought Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle) really came out of top in this film, contributing more than most of the other team members. And Yen (Shaobo Qin) also gets to participate more in the disguise and infiltration aspects of the plot, extending his role past the “hired ninja” he was in the previous installments.

While some high-tech gadgets do come into play in this film, nothing as ridiculous as the aforementioned hologram machine is to be seen. All the technological doodads employed for the job are quite low key and believable, with nothing anymore outrageous than magnetic dice and reprogrammed slot machines. Well, except this one crazy tunneling device, but it’s actually pretty funny and clever and isn’t some sort of space age James Bond machine, either. Soderbergh tries to keep things on the level in order to add a sense of real world credibility to the scheme.

The villain of the film, Bank, is a bit two-dimensional, I’ll admit. Al Pacino delivers a stellar performance (and that should go without saying, he’s Al Pacino), so it’s not his fault. Bank is just sort of an evil jerk for the sake of being an evil jerk, so don’t expect much depth out of him. The villain of the previous two films, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), plays a rather pivotal role in the film as a supporter of Ocean’s crew, of all things. They manage his inclusion rather well and he keeps things pretty interesting.

All in all, “Ocean’s Thirteen” is the sequel we should’ve gotten in the first place. It keeps things familiar but always fresh. If “Ocean’s Eleven” was an A, I’d give “Ocean’s Thirteen” a B, for certain.

Grade: B

The original live action Guyver film, as fun as it may have been, was a very poor adaptation of the source material. The script was admirable at times, cramming the first 6 episodes into 90 minutes, but the tone and atmosphere was all wrong. The original film was played off as a goofy comedy parody, leaving many Guyver fans rather disappointed. Luckily, Guyver 2: Dark Hero came along shortly afterward with story and direction more befitting of the original manga and anime.

It’s been a year since Sean Barker (David Hayter) became the Guyver, a superhero bonded to a powerful alien control metal called a “bio-booster armor”, and seemingly destroyed the Kronos Corporation and their legions of Zoanid mutants. However, life has not been well for Sean. Between crimefighting, he has been plagued by awful, violent nightmares. His girlfriend, Mizuki, unable to deal with Sean’s new life, has left him. Distraught, Sean packs his things and hits the road in hopes of finding an answer. His travels lead him to a secluded wilderness area where, unbeknownst to him, an alien spaceship, belonging to the same race which created his control metal, crash-landed centuries ago. The Kronos Corporation, now under the command of a new Zoalord, has been dispatched to take the alien remains as well as the prize within: a new control metal! Sean must fight his way through a horde of Zoanoids and get to the ship before the Kronos lackies do, otherwise he’ll have to face an evil Guyver with all his own powers and more!

Okay, this is gonna sound real confusing, but I’ll try and map it out as best I can. The first Guyver film was a loose adaptation of the first six episodes of the anime. The Guyver 2 is a loose adaptation of the second episode of the anime. In the second episode of the anime, a Kronos lacky named Lisker got ahold of the second control metal and became the Guyver II. However, in the first Guyver movie, that angle was dropped for Lisker’s character. Instead, he was just another Zoanoid who ended up being killed at the end of the film. In Guyver 2: Dark Hero, they adapt the concept of an evil Guyver, but with Lisker’s character dead, they create a new bad guy to get the bio-booster armor. The Guyver II as he appears in the film also bears little to no resemblance to the Guyver II as he appeared in the anime.

Even with the cast changes (Sean Barker was played by Jack Armstrong in the first film) and the dropping of key characters, like Mizuki, I find the Guyver 2 to be an all-around superior film to the original. As an adaptation it’s much more respectful of the source material, but as a film in-general it’s a lot easier to stomach.

The budget is noticeably lower than in the original, so the special effects aren’t quite as constantly in-your-face. There are less Zoanoids in this film than in the original but the ones you do get to see are noticeably nastier and more menacing (no rapping Jimmy Walker monsters in *this* movie). The gore is pretty good, with Zoanoids getting decapitated, having their arms broken, eyes gouged out, stabbed in the gut, melted and all sorts of other horrible things done to them. This is much more of a horror-scifi flick, so with the comedy element dropped they’re free to let the blood flow like wine. Probably the most impressive design is the Guyver II who looks very detailed and unique, yet still Guyver-like. The fight choreography for the final battle is also very intense. Unfortunately, some of Sean’s transformation sequences are done with 1994-quality CGI, which is very much a bad-thing.

I’d recommend Guyver II to fans more than I’d recommend the original. If you’re familiar enough with the animated series you can honestly just skip the first flick. It’s a rehash of what you’ve already seen only done with silly comedy bits. Guyver 2, however, is 90% original story with a much darker and more appropriate atmosphere.

Grade: B

“Super Android 13” doesn’t appear to be one of the more popular Dragonball Z films, though it’s one of my personal favorites in a “guilty pleasure” sort of way. I find it rather underrated and enjoy it mostly for the reasons people seem to hate it. “Super Android 13” is cheesier than other Dragonball Z films (if you can comprehend that), but at the same time it’s pretty self-aware that it’s so goofy. It’s not one of the best installments in the series, but I always have a fun time watching it.

The mad Dr. Gero of the Red Ribbon Army may be dead, but his evil lives on within a super computer of his own design. The computer crafts three new killer robots, Androids 13, 14 and 15, respectively. Their primary function: Kill Goku. The androids waste little time tracking Goku down and quickly engage him in a fierce battle. Goku’s comrades, Gohan, Krillen, Vegeta, Piccolo and the Super Saiyan from the future, Trunks, all pop in to lend a hand.

When Funimation first began dubbing Dragonball Z I was very displeased. Gradually, the voice actors grew on me with their own individual character quirks and I came to accept them. Still, I wasn’t suitably impressed with their efforts…until I saw this movie. This is one of the cheesier Dragonball Z films and the people at Funimation knew it, so as a result, the voice acting reflects it. And it’s a total riot. They had me snickering when the diminutive Android 15 showed up speaking gangsta jive, but I nearly erupted with laughter once the title villain appeared, spewing a heavy redneck dialect (“the Red Ribbon Redneck”, as Trunks calls him). They have a lot of fun with the voice acting in this film which really adds to the entertainment value. I probably wouldn’t like this movie as much as I do if it weren’t for the voice gags.

I’m also not typically a fan of the new music recorded for the English dub, but I rather like this one. They play this funky track for Androids 14 and 15 when they first enter the city and it just adds to the humorous tone. They also dub in a few “extra” lines that make me snicker, like that last bit between Vegeta and Piccolo at the very end. “Is it over?” “Not until the fish jumps.” *fish jumps* “Okay, it’s over.” *roll credits*

The fight scenes in “Super Android 13” aren’t really the best in the franchise, though they do manage one effect in this film which outdoes all the others: the ricochets. Characters are getting tossed around and sent bouncing off the surrounding environments like ping pong balls. The animation is good, though not really theatrical quality. I noticed a few errors here and there, but nothing too distracting.

As for the villains, aside from the humorous dubbing, I suppose they really aren’t that special. Android 15 is pretty funny with his gangsta voice and alcoholism, though his outfit is pretty stupid. Android 14 comes out the weakest of the lot, with no notable character quirks of any kind. Android 13, the lead villain, steals the show with his trucker appearance and heavy Southern drawl. The bit where he goes “Super Android” for the final battle is one of the lamer transformations in the series, with him just turning blue and sprouting orange spikey hair. He didn’t really have any impressive special attacks, either.

While the dubbing won me over, I can’t ignore some of the lamer parts of the movie. I’m getting pretty sick and tired of the Spirit Bomb Solution. They manage to use it in a slightly more creative fashion in this film, with Goku absorbing the energy into his body rather than just lobbing it at the enemy in the form of an energy ball. Still, it’s getting boring. I was also damn annoyed by the amount of comedy relief humor involving Krillen. It’s embarrassing to watch one of my favorite characters get turned into such a panty waist.

In all honesty, this is a pretty bad Dragonball Z flick but dressed up with a lot of self-parody and cheesy dubbing to mask the poor story and less-than-stellar animation. To its credit, they mask the set-backs rather well. I give “Super Android 13” a C as far as Dragonball Z movies go.

Grade: C

Ghostbusters II tends to be the source of much criticism from fans. Some say they didn’t like it because of the pacing, some say it was the story, others say the villain, yet the most common explanation I hear as to why so many dislike the film is “Because it wasn’t as good as the original”. I have to say, that answer always strikes me as being a bit unfair. The original Ghostbusters is one of the finest comedies ever made, many can agree on that, and trying to trump it with a sequel just wasn’t going to happen.

5 years after the battle with Gozer, the Ghostbusters have been forced out of business thanks to a series of class-action lawsuits. Making ends meet in their own individual fashions, the Ghostbusters are brought back together when their former client, Dana Barrett (Sigourney Weaver), asks them to investigate a strange happening involving her infant son, Oscar. Peter (Bill Murray), immediately dedicates himself to solving Dana’s problem in a bid to win back her affection, as Ray (Dan Aykroyd), Egon (Harold Ramis) and Winston (Ernie Hudson) get back in the paranormal investigation-game. It would appear that Vigo the Carpathian, a warlock and tyrant from ancient times, is trapped within a portrait in the Metropolitan Museum of Art (also Dana’s workplace) and intends to resurrect himself through Oscar. The Ghostbusters gear-up for a big comeback, as legions of evil spirits once again invade New York City.

I won’t argue that Ghostbusters II is inferior to the original, but I won’t overreact like so many others and label it a “bad movie”. Ghostbusters II is still funny, well-acted, has great special effects and lots of awesome monsters. The full cast reunion is a wonderful thing, as everyone, even Louis (Rick Moranis) and Janine (Annie Potts) are brought back for another round. None of the actors have lost any of their comedic talent and still play off one another as brilliantly as they did in the original. The humor in this film is fantastic, and really, is the least of the film’s problems. Most people don’t knock Ghostbusters II for the humor since it really is very funny.

As a villain, Vigo is a bit lackluster and at times can feel like a retread of Gozer the Traveler. The final battle with Vigo is also a remarkable let-down. But, while Vigo may not have been the best ghost in the movie, there are plenty of others to keep you from getting bored. The special effects this time around were provided by ILM, the Star Wars-people, which means absolutely brilliant quality. The Scalari Bros are a great example of the special effects used on the ghosts to make them look more convincing than the ones from the first film. Slimer, who returns for this film, also looks fantastic, though he’s gained quite a bit of weight between the two films. The kid in me just can’t get enough Slimer. Like the first film, the ghosts and horror effects can range from “goofy” (but in a good way) to down-right dark and gothic. I found the scene in the subway tunnel with all the severed heads mounted on spikes to be particularly nasty for a movie so often advertised as a “family film”. And, in regards to Vigo, while he may not have been such a great badguy, he at least looked cool thanks to some great special effects which gave him this weird, bluring “after image” effect.

One of my personal major complaints with the film is the almost criminal under-use of Winston. On many occasions, the script seems to go out of its way to exclude him from scenes. While he was a well-developed characted in the animated series, in the films, he’s a bit of a third wheel. You never find out what he did to make ends meet in the 5 year interim (save for doing birthday gigs with Ray on the side) and he’s not only completely missing from the street-digging sequence, but pointlessly removed from the courtroom scene with the Scalari Bros. Winston even shows up in the courtroom, talks to the Ghostbusters on trial and can be seen sitting in the background. However, once the Scalari Bros attack, Winston disappears. It always bothered me that they went out of their way not to use him.

I suppose what Ghostbusters II needs, which would really enhance the film and finally satisfy nay-sayers, is a “Director’s Cut”. There were many scenes that were finished, special effects and all, which wound-up on the cutting room floor for reasons of time. As a result, characters and plot-twists can take a nosedive into the realm of “WTF?” For instance, all of Louis’ extra scenes in the Firehouse, where he interacts with Slimer and Janine, were cut. These scenes set up his desire to become a Ghostbuster, his budding romance with Janine and his rivalry with Slimer. With these scenes absent, Louis’ ambition to become a Ghostbuster at the end of the film seems purely out of the blue, as does Janine’s sudden desire to sleep with him (makes her look like a total slut). Also, the bit where Louis is so surprised that Slimer is willing to help him get to the Museum at the end loses a lot of comedic value, as Louis was *supposed* to spend the bulk of the movie trying to catch Slimer. Another missing scene takes place after the Ghostbusters first investigate the museum and Ray becomes hypnotized. While driving away, Ray attempts to crash the Ecto-1A and kill all the Ghostbusters. He eventually snaps out of it, but Vigo maintains his hold on Ray throughout the film. With this scene deleted, Ray’s possession by Vigo at the film’s climax seems especially random and, well, stupid. If these scenes could be edited back into the film it would flow much more smoothly.

Ghostbsuters II is, I admit, an inferior sequel. Yet, sequels can be inferior to the originals yet still be *good*…just not as good. That’s how I feel about Ghostbusters II. I enjoy the film, I love seeing all the actors reprise their classic characters, and I totally dig the special effects. Ghostbusters II is worth a B, if you ask me.

Grade: B