Kevin Smith’s next film “Zack and Miri make a Porno” is on the fast track, and that fast track caused Rosario Dawson to not be able to play the part that was originally written for her.  Kevin Smith comments on just WHY she isn’t able to be in the film:

I wrote “Zack and Miri” with two actors in mind for the respective leads: Rosario, natch, as Miri, and this other guy as Zack. The idea was to shoot it sometime after the first of the year, post “Red State”, but the reaction to the “Zack and Miri” script was so enthusiastic across the boards (from producer Scott Mosier, everyone at the Weinstein Co., the agents and managers of both Rosario as well as the unnamed male lead, Entertainment Weekly), that it got fast-tracked into first position (something that wasn’t hard to do, considering “Red State” wasn’t finished yet). Suddenly, we were looking at an Oct/Nov ‘07 start for “Zack and Miri”.

Then, our prospective male lead needed some time to get some stuff done, so we moved “Zack and Miri” back to a January start – which would mean a late October/early November pre-production start (precluding any pre-”Zack” start for “Red State”). This would’ve mean Rosario would be sitting on her hands all fall, waiting to shoot “Zack and Miri”. And with the impending strike, with actors not knowing if they’re gonna be working at all post-March, that’s a tough request to make of any actor.

Then, along comes “Eagle Eye” – the flick starring man-of-the-moment Shia LeBeouf, to be directed by “Disturbia” helmer D.J. Caruso – based on an original idea by…

Wait for it…

Steven fucking Spielberg.

I mean, who wouldn’t take that gig?

Problem is, “Eagle Eye” starts shooting in November and doesn’t wrap ’til Feb/March. Well, that’s not really a problem for anyone… except me and “Zack and Miri”.

So here I sit, momentarily, without a leading lady.

*sigh*

So there you have it.  Rosario’s out…someone else is back in.

BTW – the rumor is that Jason Bateman is Zack.

via Silent Bob Speaks 

 

It looks like Howard Stern’s long thought dead remake of Porky’s is back on track.  Stern recently took the day off from his radio show to work on the film according to Slashfilm.

Howard Stern has been hard at work on a remake of the cult teen comedy film Porky’s. Last week Stern took a vacation from his daily Sirius Satellite Radio Show and worked on the film project which the Shock Jock now claims is “ready to go.” “They say it’s all greenlit and everything, ready to go. They say they can even start shooting in October, but I don’t know if that’s true,” says Stern. “It seemed like a fun project, which it is.”

Frankly, I just don’t care about this.  I don’t have a connection to Porky’s.  I’ve never watched the film, and I probably never will…having read what others say about it, though, I don’t see any reason for this thing to be remade.

It looks like Howard Stern’s long thought dead remake of Porky’s is back on track.  Stern recently took the day off from his radio show to work on the film according to Slashfilm.

Howard Stern has been hard at work on a remake of the cult teen comedy film Porky’s. Last week Stern took a vacation from his daily Sirius Satellite Radio Show and worked on the film project which the Shock Jock now claims is “ready to go.” “They say it’s all greenlit and everything, ready to go. They say they can even start shooting in October, but I don’t know if that’s true,” says Stern. “It seemed like a fun project, which it is.”

Frankly, I just don’t care about this.  I don’t have a connection to Porky’s.  I’ve never watched the film, and I probably never will…having read what others say about it, though, I don’t see any reason for this thing to be remade.

SlashFilm:  Dan In Real Life movie trailer now available 

The Movie Blog:   Punisher 2 movie scoop 

Celebrific:  Apparently Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt are considering adopting again, in Ethiopia this time around 

Cinematical:   New images of Will Smith’s Hancock movie hits the net 

Film Fodder:  Jessica Alba joins Love Guru 

Well folks, I think we’re going to have to content ourselves with last weeks’ DVD releases, as this week doesn’t showcase any real hotties.  Of course, there’s always the latest Anthony Hopkins movie to keep us occupied & I suppose Fracture does just that.

Here they are, all the same- DVD releases for Tuesday August 14, 2007:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film…
Avatar, The Last Airbender: Book 2 Earth, Volume 4
Back To School
Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds: Live At Radio City
Doctor Strange
Dynasty: The Second Season
Elvis: The Miniseries
Fracture
The Fugitive: Season 1, Volume 1
Hamlet
Inland Empire
Labyrinth
The Lookout
Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs
Masters of Horror: We All Scream for Ice Cream
South Park: The Complete Tenth Season
Taxi Driver
Vacancy
Wild Hogs

 

The 3rd teaser poster for Star Trek XI, which is apparently just called “Star Trek” has come online.  This continues the “retro” theme of the previous posters.  I like it, but I’m really, really ready to see what a set looks like – what a ship looks like – and what uniforms look like.  This is so close to the original look, it almost makes you wonder if they’re going to use old looking sets and uniforms.  There is no way that’s going to happen, mind you, but with these posters…you have to wonder… 

The 3rd teaser poster for Star Trek XI, which is apparently just called “Star Trek” has come online.  This continues the “retro” theme of the previous posters.  I like it, but I’m really, really ready to see what a set looks like – what a ship looks like – and what uniforms look like.  This is so close to the original look, it almost makes you wonder if they’re going to use old looking sets and uniforms.  There is no way that’s going to happen, mind you, but with these posters…you have to wonder… 

Could it be true?  Will we actually see “The Hobbit” directed by Sam Rami and produced by Peter Jackson? 

IESBhas a rumor that claims it’s true.

From the article:  

All sources indicate that although Jackson won’t be back to direct, our source is telling us that Raimi is looking to helm The Hobbit with Peter Jackson attached to produce. Raimi has said in the past that he would not take on the project without Jackson’s blessing. Well, looks like he may have it!

What do you think? Will it ever happen? Who knows…

Before there was “Jurassic Park” there was “Dinosaurs!” starring Fred Savage. I kid you not. Before the instant Spielberg classic became the go-to film for dinosaur action, most little kids grew up with this stop-motion documentary featuring that generation’s favorite child actor. Though dated in pretty much every way you can imagine (factually, visually and musically), “Dinosaurs!” must have done something right, as they still show it at the dinosaur exibit of the Smithsonian.

Phillip (Fred Savage) has a problem: his school report is due tomorrow but he hasn’t a clue what to write about. After a bizarre musical dream sequence which was most likely the result of substance abuse, Phillip awakens to the answer: Dinosaurs! However, he doesn’t know anything about them except that they were big, scary and are all dead. But have no fear, Phillip is apparently a very special young boy who not only receives rock n roll visions but also has an omniscient narrator ready to explain everything to him and write him his report.

Growing up before 1994, this video was pretty much a staple of every dinosaur-hungry child’s diet. They saw it at least once, anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if it holds some sort of Blockbusters rental record of some kind. Personally, I had a copy on BetaMAX and wore it out into a pile of dust. Rewatching it recently, “Dinosaurs!” is a product of its time: seriously dated and hard to take seriously in this day and age of special effects epics such as “Jurassic Park” and factually accurate documentaries such as “Walking with Dinosaurs”. Never-the-less, whether current paleontological findings have rendered the science of this film completely without merit or not, it’s still one of the best sources of cheesy 80’s nostalgia you are ever likely to come across.

The film starts out with young Phillip having a dream sequence set to a cheesy rock song called “Mesozoic Mind”. Basically, an 80’s rock band made up of dinosaurs share the basics of a few of the more well-known species with the audience (Apatosaurus glided past, tall as any tree). Believe it or not, there’s an actual website dedicated to this song and you can even watch a video of it there. While so goofy and cheesy your brain may fossilize inside your skull, “Mesozoic Mind” is actually kind of catchy…in an “oh god I can’t get this god damn song outta my head!” sort of way.

Fred Savage’s magical journey through the mysterious history of dinosaurs is rather short and only really teaches you the basics about fossils and constantly stresses the fact that we know next to nothing about Dinosaurs (well, that’s how it was in 1987, anyway). Being probably the least visually exciting, this portion of the film is the bit most people tend not to remember. I recall finding the middle section boring and usually went to get a glass of Kool-Aid Purplesaurus Rex while it was playing.

The climax of the film is Phillip’s actual report on dinosaurs to the class. In reality, it’s a stop-motion sequence which was animated in 1980 by Will Vinton (the creator of the California Raisens) and then tacked on to the end of the movie for the 1987 release. The brightly colored and cartoonish claymation is fun to watch and likely the source of my unbridled love for all things stop-motion (sorry, Gumby). Here is where the movie mostly shows its age, not solely in the special effects but with the flat out inaccurate history lesson on dinosaurs. Granted, not all of it is misinformation, but paleontology has made so many leaps and bounds since 1980 that the information presented in the film is really obsolete. But who cares? Claymation is fun. And those purple triceratops moo like barnyard cows.

This movie isn’t so easy to find anymore, as most video stores that still have a VHS section likely threw their’s out from over-use some years ago. Still, if you’re ever at the Smithsonian you might want to take the time to sit and watch the thing. It’s so bad it’s good.

Grade: N (for “Nostalgia”)

Ah, “epic fantasy”, a genre I love to hate sometimes. For every tremendously enjoyable film such as “Labyrinth” there are ten overrated or underwhelming installments such as “Legend”. And somewhere in between all that lay films such as “Krull”. Thankfully, I can say with confidence that Matthew Vaughn’s “Stardust” ranks rather highly within the genre and is probably the best family-friendly fantasy epic to come around since “Narnia”.

In a small English village stands a wall which separates our world from a magical country known as Stormhold. The good-natured day-dreamer Tristan (Charlie Cox) is desperate to wed the beautiful yet terribly self-centered Victoria (Sienna Miller), and when a star falls just beyond the wall, Tristan promises to retrieve it for her as proof of his devotion. What he finds within the crater, however, is a strange girl named Yvaine (Claire Danes). As it turns out, she was knocked down to Earth by a magical amulet released by the King of Stormhold (Peter O’Toole). He is dying and needs to determine which of his conniving sons is most worthy of his throne. Septimus (Mark Strong) heads out to retrieve the amulet and take the throne, killing all who stand in his path. Elsewhere, the wicked witch Lamia (Michelle Pfieffer) and her cronish sisters desire to find the fallen star, cut out her heart and eat it to restore their youth for another four hundred years. Poor Tristan is now left to protect Yvaine and guide her safety, all the while avoiding those after her as well as other assorted dangers.

“Stardust” is based on a novel by renowned fantasy and horror author Neil Gaiman. Gaiman managed to win me over last year with his film “Mirrormask” so I felt this more cut and dry fantasy offering deserved my attention. At first it doesn’t come across very “Gaiman-esque” and feels like your typical dime-a-dozen fantasy stuff, but it quickly wins you over with its weird and dark sense of humor, eccentric characters and talented cast. The only thing about the movie which really screamed “Neil Gaiman”, I felt, was the ever-present dark humor. That also happened to be my favorite aspect of the film. It achieves a sturdy balance between light and dark; there’s lots of violence yet scarcely a single drop of blood to be seen. Most of the gruesome bits are played off for laughs and shouldn’t frighten or offend the young ones too much. The ghosts of Septimus’ siblings showing up every now and again to provide humorous commentary throughout the film is probably what really won me over, as their presence was both genuinely funny and clever.

The cast assembled is one of the best I’ve seen and not entirely due to the all-star names involved, either. I’ve never heard of Charlie Cox, but he really sold it as the main character, Tristran. Robert De Niro shows up at about the midway point of the film as the…”fabulous” sky pirate Captain Shakespear. His part was exceptionally funny and managed to provide an essential part to the development of Tristran as a young hero. Michelle Pfieffer throws in a fine performance as the more-often-than-not gruesome hag Lamia and Claire Danes plays the female lead nicely, though I don’t think she stood out as strongly as some of the others mentioned.

The resolution was well-done, with just about everything that had been addressed earlier in the film working into the conclusion seamelessly. In fact, the whole story flows very smoothly and keeps the pace going nice and steady.

I wouldn’t say “Stardust” is one of the best fantasy films I’ve ever seen, but I would say that it’s the best I’ve seen this year. Certainly your best bet for this week and a strong cap to the blockbuster movie season.

Grade: B