You know what the difference between films like “Shoot ‘em Up” and “War” is? “Shoot ‘em Up” is a good bad movie, while “War” is just a plain ole bad movie. To elaborate, while films such as “War” sincerely believe they are God’s gift to the action genre and legitimately artistic and inspiring pieces of celluloid, “Shoot ‘em Up” is completely self-aware that it’s an over-the-top, leave-your-brain-at-the-door bulletfest and only aspires to have a good time and never takes itself more seriously than it ought to. And that’s why I can in good conscience give a thumbs down to stupid cliché-ridden films like “War” while simultaneously enjoying goofy brainless films like “Shoot ‘em Up”.

Smith (Clive Owen) is just your average Brit living in America with a chip on his shoulder and carrot-fueled super eyesight. He inadvertently becomes the protector of a newborn infant who has become the target of the pudgy hitman Hertz (Paul Giamatti) and his legion of dispensable cannon-fodder assassins. Smith’s only ally in this crazy ordeal is a Eurotrash hooker named Donna (Monica Bellucci), whom he needs to feed the baby breast milk while he deals with all the psychos out to get them.

As previously stated, “Shoot ‘em Up” is entirely self-aware that it is insane and ridiculous and not a movie to be taken seriously for a split second. So as such, it ignores the requirements of physics or character depth or coherent plotting all for the sake of having some fun at whatever the cost. The action scenes in this movie are intentionally as crazy and impossible as you can imagine, but they all have a sense of humor to them so you know you should be smiling instead of sneering. If you can get past the fact that the physics are complete nonsense, you shouldn’t have any trouble going along for the ride.

And that’s what makes “Shoot ‘em Up” a fun movie. The gun battles are completely outrageous and will have the audience laughing and cheering at the preposterous “improve” on the part of Smith and the ludicrous situations going on around him. I also enjoyed the film’s soundtrack, featuring the likes of Motorhead, Motley Crue and AC/DC, but I’m a sucker for oldie metal.

While the fight scenes are fun, the characters aren’t all winners. Clive Owen is hilarious as Smith, with his constant carrot-chewing and hair-trigger temper winning the audience over mighty quick. His one-liners weren’t all gold, but I think they were supposed to be intentionally cheesy and stupid at times. Paul Giamatti managed a particularly memorable villain, who never seems all that threatening, but then that’s kind of the point. Like everything else in the movie, the villain has a sense of humor about him which makes him almost as likable as the hero. Now, outside of fun character quirks and inspired casting, the main characters don’t come across particularly deep. They try to throw in a thin and watery backstory for Smith, but it seems more like an afterthought than anything necessary for the character, and in all honesty, they pretty much ripped it from “The Punisher”, anyway.

“Shoot ‘em Up” is a fun little goofball movie, and when I look at my to-see list for this month, well, it looks to be about the best action flick that’ll be out for the next four weeks. Anyhow, if you can lighten up, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy “Shoot ‘em Up”.

Grade: B-

Gay humor tends to be some of the most uninspired and predictable dreck you’ll come across in comedies. Now, I’m all for everybody being made fun of equally no matter who they are (homosexuals should be no safer from jokes at their expense than heterosexuals and vice versa), but gay humor typically applies no more effort than “look, those two guys are kissing! Ewwwww!” “Chuck & Larry” takes the easy way out by trying to make the audience feel uncomfortable and awkward, misconstruing that response with “humor” instead of attempting to approach anything even remotely close to a clever script.

Brooklyn firefighters, Chuck (Adam Sandler) and Larry (Kevin James), are the closest of friends, though they couldn’t be more different. Chuck is a ladies man who can’t go to bed with the same girl twice while Larry is a single dad struggling to raise his two kids on his own. Larry is shocked when he discovers that upon his death, his pension won’t be signed over to his children and they will be left penny-less. After a near-death experience on the job causes Larry to realize how likely that possible future for his kids could be, he does some research only to discover that the only way his kids could be taken care of after his death is if he marries someone he can trust and names him-or-her beneficiary. However, the only person he can trust is Chuck…and Chuck owes him one. No sooner do they get their domestic partnership do they discover the county of New York doesn’t buy their love for a minute. They then find themselves under the watchful eye of the law: if they don’t act gay all the time they could both wind up in prison.

“Chuck & Larry” is your typical Adam Sandler comedy, though I wouldn’t rank it anywhere close to one of his best. The “ewwww gay people” jokes get old very fast and after a while you figure out that’s all they’ve got. So that aside, the movie is primarily cast-driven and tries to make the weak script work with the talent it has assembled. You’ve got the usual Sandler film regulars, such as Steve Buscemi and Rob Schneider, though they also aren’t at their best. Schneider is particularly unconvincing as an Asian priest at an economy chapel in Canada. Some other familiar faces show up, including Ving Rhames and Dan Aykroyd. Aykroyd sliding down the pole in a firehouse invoked within me some vague “Ghostbusters” nostalgia, but no matter how much I like the man, he didn’t stand out particularly well, either.

This is far from the worst comedy I’ve seen all year, but it remains a considerable let-down. Brainless Adam Sandler films are occasionally a guilty pleasure of mine and I’ve watched “Happy Gilmore” more times than I’d care to admit, but “Chuck & Larry” doesn’t display even a fraction of the effort you usually find in his movies. You’re better off letting this one pass you by.

Grade: D+

“Watch out, cuz here we come! It’s been a while, but we’re back with style!

Those would be the opening lyrics from the popular 80’s version of “Alvin & the Chipmunks”. Now try to imagine them set to a hardcore gangsta tempo.

Good luck with that.

This may qualify as “old news”, but I felt like saying a few words on it since the Chipmunks are actually one of my fonder childhood memories. I’m not gonna condemn this flick immediately. As someone who gets paid to review movies, that would be a major faux pas. But I am a little…disturbed by the movie poster.

On the brightside, according to IMDB, Alvin, Simon and Theodore will be voiced by Ross Bagdasarian Jr. (son of Ross Bagdasarian Sr. who created the original Alvin Show in 1961) and Janice Karman who have provided their voices since the 80’s series and most recently the straight to video films. So it’s got that going for it. Not so sure I can stomach hearing them belt out white suburban rap songs, though.

Anyhow, something for you 80’s nostalgia hounds to chew on. I’ll cross my fingers for a cameo from Clyde Crashcup (not that that’s very likely).