I think Iâ€™m gonna be sick.
Itâ€™s hard to put into words how diabolically atrocious this Eddie Murphy â€œcomedyâ€ really is, but I get the feeling most of you reading this came to the same conclusions about its quality after watching the 30 second television spot. Let me tell you, if it wasnâ€™t my job to review movies, I wouldnâ€™t have poked this thing with a stick just to see if it were still alive.
Norbit (Eddie Murphy) is a soft-spoken, easily controlled little man who is forced into marrying a loud, obnoxious, overweight ethnic stereotype, Rasputia (Eddie Murphy). Norbitâ€™s life is pretty much miserable, as both his wife and her three mobster older brothers (Terry Crews, Clifton Powell, Mighty Rasta) treat him like dirt. Then one day, Norbitâ€™s lost love, Kate (Thandie Newton), walks back into his life. Norbit is overjoyed to see her againâ€¦until Rasputia finds out and makes his life considerably more painful. The plot thickens when Kateâ€™s fiancÃ© (Cuba Gooding Jr.) shows up, as he is really a sleazy conman looking to grift Kate out of her fortune and turn the local orphanage into a strip joint.
The main â€œdrawâ€ of this film, at least, what the producers and director thought would entice the general audience to donate $10 and 80 minutes of their time, is that Eddie Murphy jumps around in a fat-suit. No, this isnâ€™t â€œThe Nutty Professor 3â€, but it might as well have been. At least then it would have had some name recognition. No, â€œNorbitâ€ is your typical run-of-the-mill PG-13 comedy where minimum effort was expended in writing the script in hopes that it could float on star-power and cheap laughs alone.
I use the term â€œstar-powerâ€ loosely, of course, since Eddie Murphy hasnâ€™t contributed anything of worth to the world of comedy sinceâ€¦jeezâ€¦the mid 90â€™s? Or is that being much too generous? I suppose if there was one, mildly humorous aspect to the film, it would be the third character Murphy plays: Mr. Wong. Heâ€™s actually rather good at playing a stereotypical Chinese man, and the make-up effects were effective-enough that it took me a while to realize it was him. Unfortunately, the writing for this movie is so resoundingly sub-par that even the â€œfunniestâ€ part of the film leans mostly in the direction of annoying.
To try and interject some more humor into the film, Eddie Griffen and Katt Williams play a pair of good-natured pimps who run a barbecue joint on the side. Again, annoying. Another side character is Buster, played by Marlon Wayans. Anything involving a Wayans brother is by nature obnoxious and stupid, so I wonâ€™t even go into detail on how irritating his character was.
The writers also thought it would be a good idea to hurl in catch phrases, since those are always a surefire means to success. Unfortunately, rather than come up with their own, they just stole one from Friends and added some black sass to it: â€œHow you doinâ€™!?â€ Cuba Gooding Jr.â€™s character also has his own phrase: â€œIâ€™m out!â€ Hilarious. Tell me again why they gave this guy an Oscar?
Did you really need me to tell you this movie was awful? I know thereâ€™s that â€œyou canâ€™t tell if a movieâ€™s bad just by watching the trailerâ€-rule, but in the case of â€œNorbitâ€, you most definitely can judge this book by its cover. Eddie Murphy continues to prove that heâ€™s another one of those irritating celebrities who should have disappeared a decade ago and put themselves out of our misery.