Synopsis: After the death of his dear Jenny, Forrest is forced to adapt to life as a single dad in his hometown of Mobile, Alabama.
Memorable Scene: Little Forrest questions his dad about death, in particular his mother’s. His father responds, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”. Then little Forrest asks, “What does that mean? That doesn’t explain anything”. His father asks, “You wanna go play ping pong or somethin’?”
Plot: Forrest starts out teaching little Forrest the alphabet, but when his son brings home an F on his report card, Forrest scolds him “Remember what I told you, Forrest. A is for almond shrimp, B is for Barbeque Shrimp, C is for Coconut Shrimp, D is for Dumplings and Shrimp, E is for…”
Forrest and his son visit Lt. Dan Taylor for a lesson in discipline, but find out he’s back to his old ways. Things went down hill after discovering his Vietnamese wife was running an erotic massage parlor behind his back. After the divorce, Lt. Dan was left penniless and with a severe alcohol addiction. While on their shrimp boat, Forrest asks “Why don’t you just get another wife, Lt. Dan?” Lt. Dan replies “A new wife, new home, and new legs? It’s all bullshit, Gump!” as he proceeds to take his prosthetic legs off and throw them into the ocean. “But Lt. Dan, how will you walk without your new legs?” Forrest reacted. “The same way I did before I got ‘em, with 2 wheels while using my d*ck as a kickstand, you moron!”, Lt Dan says.
Forrest Jr. is all-grown-up and graduates top of his class from Harvard. After graduation Forrest Jr. takes up a career in politics and is running for President of the United States. While on campaign in Mobile, Forrest Jr. is shaking hands at a local elementary school where he’s set to give a speech. Unfortunately for him, the school district hired Lt. Dan as the new bus driver. Lt. Dan is drunk and loses control of the bus. Noticing this, Forrest Sr. runs to save his son, however he is too old and slow, so he stops and yells; RUN FORREST, RUN! But Forrest Jr. can’t run, as he was only taught an endless amount of shrimp anecdotes and did not focus on athletics. The bus plows through Forrest Jr. and ends up in a fiery blaze at the bottom of a ditch. Forrest cries “Mama always said; Life is like a box of chocolates… you never know when a legless alcoholic maniac is going to kill your son in a fiery school bus crash.” ROLL CREDITS!
Guest Bio: This article was lovingly written by the cavalcade of writers at Don’t You Hate Pants? If you’d like to read more about our particular sense of humor visit www.dontyouhatepants.net. We also have a Pantless Babe of the Week. She’s very pretty.